I have spent the last 60 minutes trying to access this site. I was having so much trouble that I consulted “help”…which advised me to delete “all cookies” Don’t ever do that unless you are completely desperate! It wiped out my history of sites and I was stuck trying to get back to where the whole thing began. After a number of unsuccessful attempts, I have changed my access information (I had my old information written down, so that was not the issue) and carefully written that in two places…just in case I may not remember this particular session! If I sound a bit out of sorts….its because I am out of sorts. Anyone know where I can get more sorts?
The reason I especially wanted to get into my blog today is that because of Ez on Creature Comforts, I am trying to follow her, and so many others’, lead in being completely honest in our blogs, at least for this one time. My admiration for Ez, Jess and all the others who have responded to this challenge knows no bounds. I promised myself that I would write in each of my three (yes, three—plus the one that nobody ever sees, I hope!) blogs: http://www.suzysomethingthinksoutloud.com and www.suzysomething.tumblr.com, and this one which you are already reading.
1. That brings me to the first thing I want to be honest about. No one reads my blogs but me. I have a total of 4 followers and all but one of them are related to me. The fourth is my BFF (who doesn’t read them either!)
2. I try to always be optimistic when I write here. In fact, if I am not in a good mood, I don’t write in my blogs. So in that I am not really honest because I am not always in a good mood and it shows in every aspect of my life, not just my writing.
3. That leads me to tell you that I suffer from clinical depression. I have a good medicine regimen that I follow without fail because it works for me. Still, I do have good days and bad days, and occasional very bad days.
4. Which leads me to tell you that I try not to have any contact with the people I care about (which includes you, Dear Reader) on those really bad days. Largely due to depression, I only leave my apartment unless I absolutely have to. My neighbors think I am an eccentric recluse and they are probably right! That helps me study without interruptions, but isn’t a healthy way for me to live.
5. I write about my knitting projects because they are one thing that I am always enthusiastic about. It really makes me feel good when I complete a project. Plus, knitting is good for my depression because it relaxes me when I am working on something that doesn’t require a lot of attention— or when I am working on something that requires my attention, it focuses me and I get totally involved in what I am knitting.
Sooooo, now I have met my commitment to write at least 5 things in each of my blogs that I don’t tell others. Today’s post is not a lot of fun to read—but I do try to keep my most of my posts positive. In the future I promise to be more forthcoming with my own personal frame of mind when I write to you all.
It will be a challenge for me and I think that’s what Ez had in mind when she issued her challenge to all bloggers. It’s been good for me. I know I will be much more aware of what I write in my blogs from now on. There will be a lot more things that are “real” and fewer things that are artificially “happy, happy, joy, joy.”
Please come by and visit me sometime…I would be happy-over-the-moon to have new followers (at this point I don’t even mind if they don’t actually read my blog!)
PS. To those of you who have been following the Saga of the Purple Sweaters, I am within 3 inches of finishing the back piece of the second purple sweater…and that makes me feel good. Three inches is such a little bit that normally I would have gone on to finish it, but it was 2:30 in the morning and I just didn’t have it in me to stay up any longer.
PPS….In the interest of continued honesty my real name is Sara Kate. I’ll still use suzysometimes and suzysomething because those are how I access my blogs (and so will you, should you decide to accept this mission!). I’ll tell you the story of how those names came about on another day.